Saké and Subterfuge
by WhyMustIWrite
Summary: On their way back to Konoha, Team 7 encounters Iruka-sensei on an undercover mission. Too bad Naruto didn't quite grasp the whole "undercover" concept.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto rushed ahead of the rest of Team 7, ready to greet Iruka in the Mission Room and demand an assignment worthy of his extreme ninja prowess.

The blond stopped short when he noticed a chunin with a goatee at the distribution desk. Not Iruka. A quick survey of the room confirmed it. His ex-sensei was nowhere to be found.

Kakashi moved behind the only other ninja in line, but Naruto cut straight to the front. He pointed an accusing finger at the desk worker, "Hey you. What are _you_ doing here!"

"Working," the chunin replied calmly, reaching past Naruto to hand a scroll to the first ninja. "A B-ranked mission. Best of luck to you, Hayate."

"Thank you, Iwashi." Hayate nodded as he stepped away, allowing Kakashi to retrieve his scroll.

"But this is Iruka-sensei's shift." Naruto exclaimed, not to be deterred.

Iwashi shrugged as he picked through a pile and extracted a second mission scroll. This he gave to the silver haired team leader. "Here you go, Kakashi, a C-ranked mission. I notice you've been stuck in the village for a while. This one will get you out for a bit."

Kakashi nodded and perused the scroll. Naruto continued pumping the man for information, despite Sakura stomping on his foot and hissing at him to mind his own business. "What's the big idea! Where's Iruka-sensei? Why are you working his shift? Is he sick? He's okay, isn't he?" Leaning closer, he stared up at Iwashi with earnest blue eyes. "You'd tell me if something was wrong with him, wouldn't you? Come on, just tell meeeee!"

The chunin's eyebrow began to twitch. "Iruka is temporarily excused from the Mission Desk duty," he relented in the face of such annoying inquisition. "He's teaching during the day and running mission work at night. Until that's over, he'll need the evenings off for sleep."

"Working nights?" Sakura repeated, her own curiosity getting the better of her. "What kind of missions can he do every night, and still be in the Academy every day?"

Sasuke had not commented throughout the whole exchange, lingering behind the group with his hands in his pocket, but his expression was attentive as he too listened in.

Iwashi sighed. "Look, it's not exactly classified, but it's not my place to discuss a coworker's business. Why don't you just ask him yourself later?"

"Okay then, let's go ask him!" Naruto decided, promptly turning away.

Kakashi, having memorized the scroll, grabbed the boy's collar and glanced mildly at his three nosy young charges. "Leave the man alone. You kids need to focus on packing. We're leaving for western Fire country in one hour."

"What will we be doing, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Escorting a princess? Capturing a missing nin? Delivering a top-secret scroll?" Naruto speculated eagerly, distracted by the prospect of adventure.

"Close." Kakashi smirked, his eye turning up in a crescent. "We're delivering a birthday gift to someone in the village of Nirikai."

"Oh." Naruto squinted one eye in contemplation. "So what's the gift? Secret treasure? Ancient weapons?"

"Even better." The copy nin leaned forward conspiratorially. "A sweater." He kept a straight face as the exuberant genim deflated in disappointment.

"Whaaaaat?" Naruto groaned, stretching out the word in annoyance. "But we beat _Zabuza_! We should be getting the important missions now. And anyway- why would someone want to hire ninja just to deliver some crummy old sweater?"

"Because, the roads to western Fire Country are crawling with bandits," Kakashi said matter-of-factly. "And our client wants to make sure it gets to her granddaughter safely. You know how anxious bandits are to steal something as fashionable as sweaters hand-knitted by little old ladies. They'll fetch a high price on the black market."

"Oh, okay." Naruto nodded, appeased. "That makes sense."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I guess that _would_ make sense to someone who thinks orange jumpsuits are stylish."

"Hey, what's wrong with what I wear?"

"You should learn from Sasuke. _He_ has a sense of style," Sakura sighed and batted her eyes at the Uchiha, "Right, Sasuke?"

"I'm going to pack." The dark haired genin muttered before taking his leave.

* * *

The mission went by without a hitch (the bandits must not have caught on to their prized cargo) and a young girl in Nirikai village was in possession of a hideous, itchy sweater. Team 7 broke their penchant for bad luck with that oddly uneventful assignment. Now they need only return to Konoha and submit their report.

"I don't get it," Naruto sighed crossing his arms behind his head. "That sweater was kinda ugly. Why was the girl so happy when we gave it to her?"

Kakashi shrugged. Personally, he didn't understand it either. The article was made of itchy wool and, because of the style of the stitch, had a poor weight-to-warmth ratio. There were lighter articles of clothing that would protect better from the cold. Overall, it was not a very practical gift at all.

"It wasn't about the sweater," Sakura explained with the air of one stating the obvious. "It was about the person who _made_ it for her. It's obvious the grandmother put a lot of time into it. That's the real gift."

The three other members of Team 7 gave her odd looks.

Sakura sighed. Sometimes being the only female…and the only one on the team with living family…made it difficult for them to understand each other.

The topic changed when Kakashi abruptly looked up at the sky. "It's going to storm soon."

The genin peered upwards. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. What was their sensei talking about?

"We've got to pick up the pace if we're going make it home before it hits," Kakashi continued. "This is going to be a bad one."

The jounin suddenly increased his speed, and the three genin exchanged bemused looks glancing up at the perfectly clear sky one more time before following.

* * *

They were three hours away from the village when the rapidly accumulated clouds broke open in the darkened sky, unleashing its wrath on the travelers.

The jounin sighed. He had been hoping to make it to the village before the weather got out of hand. The team's next training regiment will focus on speed, Kakashi decided.

For now, the jounin weighed their options. They could continue traveling to the village though their pace would be slower, making the journey closer to five hours. It wasn't the safest option, but any good ninja could evade lightening bolts and falling branches while avoiding mud slides.

But the kids weren't particularly good ninja yet, and there was no particular hurry to be home anyway.

The second option was to find a relatively dry cave to camp out for the night. Or they could travel a half hour to the closest village and find accommodations there.

The copy ninja observed his kids. They were tired, cold, wet, and generally miserable. Spending the night in a dank, cold cave would only make them more miserable, which in turn would make them more difficult to deal with, and possibly get them sick.

So the closest village it was.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir," the receptionist at the inn repeated while loudly smacking her gum and not sounding remotely sorry, "But all our rooms are full."

"But we don't _need_ a room," Kakashi pressed, "Some floor space in a storage area would do fine." He glanced at his shivering genin team, huddled around the lobby fireplace and looking more or less like drowned rodents.

"I can't allow it. There are strict procedural codes I have to follow," she said. "Safety regulations and all that. I'm sorry, but I can't help you."

The jounin glared, and the receptionist maintained her demeanor of remorseless boredom. Either she was immune to scare tactics, or he just wasn't that intimidating while looking so much like a drowned rat himself.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave." When he failed to budge, she sighed and added "You can try the tavern on the other side of town. They sometimes let people use a room. If not, you could at least hang around until the storm passes. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do."

"You won't let us use a storage room because of 'safety regulations,' but you think it's a good idea to have my genin spend the night at a tavern?"

"I'm…"

"Sorry. I know," Kakashi finished for her. He stalked out of the inn, his water logged students trailing behind. "And I'm _thankful_ for your service to the ninja of Konoha."

The "other side" of this particular town was gaining notoriety among Konoha intelligence teams as a growing hive for criminal activity. The jounin briefly pondered falling back to the finding-a-cave option, before ultimately waving his students onward toward the tavern. These kids would be working in unsavory environments like that soon enough. May as well acclimate them to it now, while he was still around to protect them.

Their feet sank into ankle-deep mud as they walked. The driving rain decreased visibility but also meant that the roads were deserted. This minimized the danger in traveling to the tavern- a large wooden structure whose crooked sign out front read "The Winking Vixen."

The Winking Vixen was the center of entertainment for this shady section of town. A live band played on stage, and the bar was large and well stocked with all manner of local and imported drink. Despite the weather, or perhaps because of it, there was a large crowd. They made the most of their stranded state, if the dancing, drinking, gambling, and general noise were any indication.

However, the patrons' mood darken as they spotted the hitai-ate. Ninja were not welcome here. The smoke-clogged atmosphere was thick with animosity.

Kakashi narrowed his eye, daring anyone to challenge him. Welcome or not, they were here, and he was not going to make his shivering, rain-soaked team trek back outside.

Of all the genin, Naruto was the most at ease, grinning widely and waving to a random person or two, trying his best to win them over. Hostile glares meant little to the kyuubi's host, who'd been receiving them almost since birth.

Sasuke was more unnerved. His expression was still carefully aloof, but his hands fidgeted inside his pockets.

It was Sakura who looked most vulnerable, staring around nervously with her arms crossed defensely in front her. Of course, it didn't help that many of the looks directed at her were more leers than glares.

Kakashi moved closer to the young kunoichi, his eyes hardening in challenge to anyone thinking to approach her. Faced with the Copy Ninja's genuinely incensed glare, the patrons turned their attention elsewhere. There were plenty of other women around who _didn't_ have terrifying bodyguards. Others suddenly took a keen interest in the performing band. Kakashi, too, glanced over and immediately schooled his features to keep the signs of recognition from his face.

Tokubetsu jounin Shiranui Genma stood on stage, crooning into his microphone and allowing his body to sway with the rhythm. The customary senbon was absent from his lips. A plain bandana and civilian clothing replaced his usual leaf hitai-ate and shinobi uniform, but there was no mistaking his Konohan colleague. Genma was playing the role of lead singer. The other members of the band were unrecognizable. Not citizens of Konoha.

Genma's gaze roved over the crowd. Although he looked right at Team 7, his eyes didn't linger any more than was normal. Clearly, this was an undercover mission. His position was an ideal one: raised above the crowd where he could monitor everyone's activities and all who were coming and going.

Still, it was unlikely that he'd been sent on this mission alone…

Kakashi scanned the room carefully, until he spotted Mitarashi Anko using her feminine wiles to ensnare her victim. If Genma was the spotter, Anko was the seductress.

Kakashi would not endanger his comrades by giving any hint that he recognized them. Instead, he led his genin to an inconspicuous table in the corner and ordered hot bowls of soup for them all.

Looking over at the bar, Kakashi noticed another member of this undercover team. The bartender was none other than Umino Iruka.

The chunin sensei had his hair down and scar concealed. Currently he was refilling the glass of a despondent-looking man. _"Don't__worry,__this__one's__on__the__house,"_Iruka was saying, judging from the way his lips moved. The other man thanked him, downing the glass and then proceeding to relate his story to the supposed bartender while swaying drunkenly on his stool. Iruka listened supportively, nodding at appropriate intervals, asking an occasional question, and smiling compassionately as the man shared his tale.

So, that's how Iruka's been spending his nights. Getting people drunk and coaxing them to spill their secrets.

Kakashi watched amusedly as the chunin interacted with his next, female, customer. Whispering something to the woman, Iruka leaned in closer than necessary and allowed his lips to brush the shell of her ear. Who knew the sensei was such a flirt? Kakashi grinned behind his mask. If only he had a camera. He could garner some good blackmail material.

When the woman paid for her drink, she slid over far too much money. Iruka accepted it, and passed along some unknown substance, concealed in his hand. As she slipped the item into her purse, the jounin caught a glimpse of white powder in a small bag. If drugs were involved, then this team was likely part of Konoha's response to the sharp rise in yakuza activity.

Kakashi's attention was drawn from his observations when he sensed an unknown man approaching their table. The genin didn't notice, as they were busy ravenously consuming their steaming bowls of soup. Kakashi tracked his movements as the stranger approached, noting that he seemed more than a little drunk.

The man leaned close to the copy ninja's ear, his foul breath assaulting the shinobi's sensitive nose. "How much d'yeh want?"

"Excuse me?" he replied, eyebrow arched coolly.

"Yer kind sell yer services, d'ntcha?" The stranger grinned lecherously. "How much fer that little pink one?"

Sell their services? Anger burned through his veins at his audacity. Sakura was barely thirteen years old. She was his student, and his responsibility. "Get out of my sight," Kakashi warned, hands itching for a kunai and yet holding back. There was a mission operation going on here. He shouldn't cause a scene.

"Aw, come on," the drunken fool stupidly persisted. "I got money. I promise I won't hurt her none."

"No, you won't," Kakashi snapped curtly. "Because you'll find yourself lacking certain body parts if you don't _back__off_!"

Naruto finished off his soup and considered asking Kakashi for more. He couldn't tell what was occurring in the quietly hissed exchange between his sensei and the smelly old man, but the killing intent Kakashi radiated convinced the blond to leave them alone for now.

Naruto's bright blue eyes wandered the scene. They widened as he noticed just who was manning the bar. Grinning excitedly, the genin launched himself from his seat.

"_IRUKA_-_SENSEI_!"

* * *

Kakashi flinched when his blond charge shouted the identity of an undercover ninja to the entire tavern. Naruto exuberantly rushed to the chunin engulfing him in a tight hug. "What are you doing _here_, sensei? And what did you do to your nose?" He rubbed at the spot where the scar should be and made a face. "That's not _make-up_ is it?"

Kakashi stood quickly and, unwilling to leave his other students unattended, grabbed each of them by an arm and pulled them with him to the bar. He needed to minimize the damage if possible.

Iruka, for his part, acted angered and confused. "Stop that!" he demanded irately, his voice drawling in an accent typical to western Fire Country. "Get _off_ me you crazy brat! What the hell is wrong with you?" With a forceful shove, he managed to dislodge Naruto from his shoulders.

"Iruka-sensei…" the boy gazed up at him with a confused and hurt expression.

The tavern owner approached at the same time as Kakashi. The businessman glared at the group of ninja, then at his bartender. "_What_is going on here, Akio?"

"I-I don't know, sir!" Iruka stammered. He pointed at Naruto. "That ninja brat jumped me for no reason."

"Hn," Sasuke shot his teammate a condescending stare. "Dobe, what's wrong with you? That's not Iruka-sensei. He doesn't even look like him."

"But, but…" Naruto scrunched his face up in confusion.

Kakashi noted the Uchiha's attempt to cover up the other's mistake, and pulled together an explanation that _might_ be halfway reasonable. Heaving a world-weary sigh, the Copy Ninja stepped forward and placed a hand on Naruto's head as he addressed the other men. "Please forgive my student, gentlemen. He's been a bit unstable since his last teacher, Iruka-sensei, died tragically just last month."

Naruto squawked in protest, but the jounin silenced him by gripping his head fractionally tighter, making it appear like a comforting gesture. "Sadly, he keeps mistaking people for his old teacher. He's working through this with his therapists."

"It's the hair that triggers his reactions. Iruka-sensei had such nice long, brown hair," Sakura added tearfully, voice cracking just at the end, as though struggling to reign in her own emotions. That girl was born to act.

"The boy's struggling with denial right now," Kakashi continued. "Please, forgive his disruption. He meant no harm."

The owner glared suspiciously at his employee, who shrugged and muttered "No harm done, I guess," before going back to serving drinks.

The boss then turned his glare to the ninja. "And what are you bunch doing here, anyway?"

"Eating," Kakashi answered simply, waving a hand at their now vacant table, still cluttered with dishes. "The storm caught us on our way to Konoha and we decided a stopover was in order. Why? Is there a problem?"

The owner was a small, balding man who only just made it to Kakashi's shoulder. Still, he was solidly built and had a shrewd look about him. He evaluated the group before answering. "No problem. Just make sure your kids behave themselves."

Kakashi nodded, and the man strode away to have a word with the band, who was currently on a break between songs.

The jounin glanced down at Naruto, who was now looking abashed. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei."

"Forget it." This was not the time or place to correct him. Instead, the jounin took a seat at the bar, his genin following suit. Kakashi needed to speak to the sensei, assess the damage done. The best way to do so inconspicuously, he reasoned, was by ordering a drink.

As he waited for his order to be taken, Kakashi did not fail to notice the men with trained chakra presences closely monitoring the brunet bartender.

No, this was definitely not a good sign.


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka finished with a regular customer and reluctantly approached the waiting ninja. "I don't serve minors," he stated stiffly, tucking his hair behind his ear and eyeing the jounin with a touch of disdain.

In Kakashi's mind this statement roughly translated to: '_What were you _thinking_, bringing my kids into a place like this? Scoundrel._'

"Then don't," Kakashi replied coolly. "They're with me, and _I'm_ ordering saké."

When the chunin's lips thinned, he knew that Iruka had more or less understood his reply: '_Their safety is my concern, not yours. Don't question my judgment, chunin._'

"Saké?" Iruka repeated, reaching for a long necked bottle. "Shall I heat it? Or do you prefer it chilled?"

Translation: _Are you on a mission, or off-duty?_

"Room temperature's fine," Kakashi shrugged. After all, their mission was accomplished, but not technically complete until they made it back to the village.

As Iruka poured the drink, the jounin kept his senses on the men who were watching. Their chakra presence was strong, indicating that, even if they weren't ninja, they had at least enough training to be dangerous. "I apologize again for Naruto's behavior. He didn't mean any harm."

Translation: _How badly did this endanger your mission?_

Iruka handed him the glass, wincing slightly as he extended his arm. "Hm. Well whether he meant to or not, your brat strained my shoulder," Iruka grumbled, left hand reaching up to rub his clavicle. "I've got an old injury there."

Translation: _Unfortunately, they were already suspicious before you arrived._ (Though Kakashi couldn't be sure if he meant suspicious of Iruka in particular, or wary that they may have been infiltrated.) _Now they'll be scrutinizing my every move._

"But if I don't over-exert myself," Iruka continued, "It'll be fine. So…no hard feelings, eh?"

Translation: _Still, I can handle this. Don't worry about me._

Iruka went to serve another customer and the jounin nursed his drink, taking sips through his mask. He didn't like getting the material wet, but couldn't risk lowering the cloth in this place.

"Hey, Akio, think there's any chance that my genin and I could get a room for the night?" Kakashi asked casually when the chunin was nearby again.

Translation: _Do you want us to stick around in case something goes wrong and you need to be pulled from the mission?_

Iruka frowned. "That's not my call, shinobi. But I doubt it. Maybe you haven't noticed, but your kind isn't exactly welcome in here."

Translation: _I don't think that would be wise. I suggest you leave, since your presence here endangers yourselves, and me by association._

Iruka glimpsed at the genin. It was only a quick look, but it was enough to take in their exhausted and bedraggled appearance. "However…we _are_ open all night…and if you keep buying food or drink every once in a while, it's unlikely that the boss'll kick you out."

Translation: _But I guess you can stay as long as the kids need to rest and be fed._

The chunin excused himself again to tend to a female customer. Kakashi noticed that Iruka was more reserved in his interaction, refraining from playful touching and generally keeping a respectful distance from the woman. He was not comfortable with brazenly flirting in front of "his kids."

The jounin withdrew, taking his saké glass and genin with him. If their presence inhibited Iruka from playing his role of Akio, Kakashi would make sure they kept their distance.

* * *

The guards made no effort to hide their intimidating scrutiny of the dark haired bartender. Iruka could feel their eyes following his every move. His fingers fumbled as he reached for a clean glass- not because Iruka was unnerved by the attention, but because Akio certainly would be.

"Hey, Akio! Hurry it up, will ya?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Iruka grinned at his impatient regular, clunking the beer mug down in front of him.

"So, what was the deal with that ninja punk?" The raven haired customer groused before taking a long draught. "He looked like he was trying to strangle you."

"Hell if I know," Iruka snorted dismissively. "But his teacher said he's a mental case."

"Yeah? Well, if that little shit bothers you again, we'll take care of him for you." The man flashed his knife, while one of his companions cracked their knuckles in agreement. "You'll owe us free beer if we do," he added humorously.

The chunin forced a chuckle, pleased that it didn't sound the least bit strained. "Nah, you'd have to take down the tall, masked one if you want free beer from me," he stated decisively. After all, he had little to worry for Kakashi's safety, and free beer was a powerful motivator. "Picking off a little blond runt just isn't that impressive."

Iruka was immensely relieved that Kakashi had withdrawn with his genin. It pained him to have to reject Naruto so thoroughly, even if he didn't mean it. After that wounded look Naruto gave him when Iruka literally pushed him away, it had taken a surprising amount of self-control _not_ to reassure the boy of his fondness for him.

* * *

It took some cajoling, but the Copy Nin managed to convince a group of men to let him play poker with them. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke sat nearby, watching the game and struggling not to fall asleep in their chairs.

The rain was already dying down, and it was possible to leave. However, he planned to linger for a few more hours, interacting with as many people as possible. The more patrons Kakashi talked to, the less suspicious his brief encounter with Iruka became.

The jounin gambled the time away, drifting from one table to another. The kids didn't understand the rules of poker (a glaring deficiency Kakashi planned to remedy once they got back to Konoha) but they focused on watching the games.

Kakashi was please that each one steadfastly resisted the urge to sneak glances at the bar where their former sensei worked. He'd been worried that his hyperactive genin, especially, would make his concern evident. But no, Naruto proved that even _he_ could show restraint when the stakes were high enough.

It didn't take long before the other patrons became frustrated with Kakashi's seamless poker face and ability to read others' body language. (Though he _did_ lose out on a fair amount of cash when Naruto muttered to Sasuke, "Yeesh, how unlucky can Kakashi-sensei get? That's his _fourth _'2' card in row.") Still, by the time they ultimately banned him from the game, his wallet was considerably heavier.

Now he had all the money he needed to linger in the tavern while buying food and drink as Iruka had suggested.

* * *

The band members paused for a break, heading to the bar for drinks.

"How you doing, boys?" Iruka greeted with usual smile.

"Thirsty," Genma declared, using his foot to casually drag a stool over to his buddies.

Iruka took mental note of the movement and which foot the tokubetsu jounin had used. "The usual?"

The musicians agreed, and Iruka busied himself with preparing their preferred drinks. Genma, however, grabbed a toothpick and chewed on it (on the left side of his mouth, Iruka noticed) before deciding. "I need something stronger tonight. Get me a whisky, single malt."

"You sure about that, light-weight?" Iruka challenged with a grin.

Though Genma actually had a remarkably high tolerance for both poison and alcohol, his alter-ego couldn't hold his drinks all that well. It gave him an excuse to refrain from imbibing too much. A squad leader couldn't afford to let his judgment slip- even just a fraction- when on a sensitive mission.

"Just get me my drink," Genma bit back in mock indignation.

"All right. But remember, your gig's not up for another few hours. If you keel over on stage, it aint my fault," Iruka teased, displaying none of the uneasiness he felt at those words.

From Genma's dialogue and mannerisms, he knew the jounin had identified their next interrogation target. Anko had also picked up on the message, as she had already engaged the target in coy conversation. Soon enough, they would stop by the bar for drinks. This must be a solid lead, or Genma wouldn't be ordering Iruka to proceed with the next move when he _knew_ the chunin was being watched.

But _how_ exactly was Iruka going to drug their suspect without getting caught?

* * *

Not wanting to bother the chunin at the bar, and no longer allowed to play cards with the men, Kakashi brought the team back to their previous table and ordered another round of soups, along with chicken yakitori.

The kids didn't have much of an appetite, picking at their food more than eating. Naruto swirled his spoon around in the miso, not swallowing a bite. He was taking his blunder rather hard, losing all of his usual exuberance. It was unnerving.

"You should eat, Naruto," Kakashi urged quietly.

"I'm not hungry."

The Copy Ninja wanted to tell him not to worry about Iruka. That everything would be okay. But besides the fact that he obviously couldn't speak such things aloud, Kakashi also knew that there was a good chance that everything _wasn't_ going to be okay. He knew from personal experience that one can't always recover from their mistakes.

The jounin sighed instead, resting his chin in his hand and surveying the scene again. Anko was at the bar ordering drinks from Iruka while flirting with a well dressed man with salt and pepper hair. The band had resumed their place on stage. Invigorated by the copious amount of alcohol they'd consumed during the break, they were now playing a raucous song with Genma jumping around and bopping his head as he sang to the throbbing music. Several couples followed suit, swaying and moving more or less with the beat. Among the writhing crowd, the jounin noticed one man who wouldn't keep his hands to himself, much to his dance partner's dismay.

"_Stop it,_" the curly haired woman protested, trying to extract herself from his hold.

Kakashi turned away from the scene to face his disheartened genin. "Naruto, you can't keep mourning for Iruka-sensei. He would want you move on, you know."

"_I said stop," _the same woman repeated in the background, the jounin only listening with half an ear as he attempted to counsel Naruto.

The genin looked up, biting his lip as though wanting to answer Kakashi, but afraid that he'd say the wrong thing.

"_What do you think you're doing?_" The feminine voice sounded increasingly distressed._ "Get off me!" _

Kakashi ignored it. Not his business. He had his kids to attend to. "I know you cared about Iruka-sensei and, trust me, he cared for you too," the jounin assured. "The best way to honor his memory is to carry on and…"

"_L-let go! H-hey..."_

Kakashi sighed. "Excuse me one second, will you?"

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke watched perplexedly as their jounin sensei ambled out to the dance floor, approaching some random guy and curly haired female. Wordlessly, Kakashi punched the man's face, knocking him out cold.

Returning to the table as calmly as he'd left, the jounin took his seat. "Now, where was I?..."

* * *

Iruka looked over at his assistant, Naomi, who was busy restocking the shelves with saké. She was too young to be work in an establishment like this, but the fact that she was the tavern owner's daughter overruled such petty concerns.

"It's been so busy tonight," the fifteen year old barback complained. The bottles were emptying almost faster than she could stock. Not to mention all the glasses she had to wash as the night wore on. "Dad works me too hard."

"I'll stay and help you close up when my shift's over. Just try to look on the bright side; we're making a killing in tips." Iruka pointed out with a fond smile. "The storm was good for business. Everyone is stranded here."

"Even those ninja, I guess," Naomi muttered uneasily.

Iruka understood the source of her apprehension. Naomi had much to lose if the undercover nin were exposed. After all, she had agreed to help him with the mission.

The chunin had realized early in their mission that his young assistant was unhappy and frightened with the life of crime her father was being sucked into. So he made her an offer: if she aided the ninja, Naomi and her village would be rid of the drug trafficking ring. In exchange for her help, Iruka promised that her father, Hiroshi, would be absolved from any criminal charges. It would be their chance to start over.

Iruka _didn't_ tell her that he had no authority to keep her father from prison, but he hoped that Konoha would honor his promise to the girl. The tavern owner, while an unscrupulous character, was just a small fish compared to the higher level Yakuza leaders that would be uncovered with her help.

"Don't worry, Naomi," Iruka reassured, looking over to where Team 7 was seated with their food, "They don't look like they're here to cause trouble."

Anko interrupted the conversation, waving him down, ready to order drinks. Their target was with her, a portly older man in expensive, well tailored clothing. It was his drink that Iruka needed to lace with truth serum. But with the owner's men watching him like hawks, how was he going to…

A collective gasp was heard from the patrons, one spilling his beer in surprise, and Iruka looked up in time to see Kakashi nonchalantly knock someone out with a punch to the face. So much for not wanting to cause trouble.

He didn't take time to wonder what had gotten into the man. Instead Iruka took advantage of the distraction to withdraw a small vial of truth serum and hide it in a washcloth. He handed the rag to his assistant. "Here Naomi, someone knocked over their drink. Clean it up, will ya?"

The girl accepted the cloth and moved to wipe the spill. To her credit, she barely faltered when she noticed the vial within.

"I've got a group of people waiting to order. Once you take care of the spill, serve those two," Iruka tilted his chin toward Anko and the target, "The lady wants saké, and the gentleman ordered a cocktail. Mix it just like I taught you, all right?"

Naomi nodded and Iruka beamed at her. "Good girl," he patted the top of her head before moving to serve a rowdy group at the other end of the bar. The guards were once again eyeing him closely, none thinking to be suspicious of the tavern owner's beloved daughter.

* * *

"You realize you just made us the center of attention…" Sasuke scowled.

"Yup," Kakashi smiled, his eye crinkling upward. What did that matter? It's not like they hadn't already made a spectacle of themselves earlier. If Gai were here, he'd be shedding manly tears over his hip rescue of a fair damsel in distress. "Now, as I was saying…"

"Hey there, tiger," a women purred, interrupting the jounin by leaning forward on the table and trailing a manicured fingernail over his vest, "Wanna dance?"

Kakashi blinked at the bold invitation. Actually he _didn't_ want to dance. But, as per his earlier plan, he did want to interact with as many people as possible. That would throw off the men who were still watching and waiting for him to reveal possible accomplices.

"Why not?" he shrugged nonchalantly. Turning to his genin, he added, "Stay here at the table. I'm counting on you to watch out for each other, understand?"

This brought the light back to the Naruto's eyes. "You can count on me! I'll protect Sakura and the teme!"

"I don't need _you _to watch over me," Sasuke protested with a frown.

"Yes you do! You're almost as pretty as Sakura," Naruto retorted as Kakashi allowed himself to be led away. They'd be all right. He hoped.

The Copy Nin quickly learned that the ladies were as impressed as Gai might have been over his impulsive rescue. However, they expressed their approval in a _far_ different manner than manly tears. Kakashi kept a level head through their attention by rehearsing in his mind what Minato-sensei had always told him about avoiding the three shinobi vices- money, alcohol, and women. Too bad he'd dabbled with all three tonight, he considered ruefully.

Risking a glance at the chunin, Kakashi could only hope that Iruka appreciated what he was putting himself through for his sake.

* * *

Iruka endeavored _not_ to be distracted by Kakashi's appalling lack of propriety. Anko was extracting vital information about the Yakuza boss they were trying to pin down, and he needed to pay attention. If they could uncover the crime lord's identity, they'd be one phase closer to shutting down this organized crime syndicate. Unfortunately, it seemed the storm had delayed the arrival of this elusive leader.

Iruka only hoped that the Yakuza boss would still show up in the village, in spite of the growing suspicion that undercover nin were in their midst. If he could somehow put those suspicions to rest, it would be…

Iruka's internal ruminations were briefly interrupted when he caught another glimpse of Kakashi. How dare he dance like…like _that…_with his genin watching!

When they got back to Konoha, Iruka would kill the jounin for corrupting his kids.

* * *

The old man continued to ramble drunkenly under the effects of the truth serum. Anko quickly became disinterested, having gotten everything she needed from him, and turned her eyes to the silver haired nin on the dance floor. A slow grin bloomed over her face as she slid off her stool.

The Copy Ninja had not anticipated Anko's approach. When the kunoichi slid her hands around his waist, demanding a dance, Kakashi assumed she had a message to relay. Genma obliged by smoothing into a slow song, one that called for close proximity and allowed for greater ease of whispered conversation.

As they danced Kakashi looked for the hidden conversation mode that he had achieved so easily with Iruka.

But no. It turned out that Anko had just wanted to flirt with him.

As usual.

So, all things considered, Kakashi was relieved when he found the conditions outside to be acceptable enough for them to leave. There was nothing more to accomplish by prolonging their presence and, besides the extra scrutiny, nothing had come of Naruto's outburst. It was two o'clock in the morning already, and the genin were warm, dry, well fed, and considerably droopy.

* * *

Iruka repressed the sigh of relief upon seeing Team 7 leave. Those children did _not_ belong in a place like the Winking Vixen, and he was going to have stern words with Kakashi about this later. For now, though, he had to focus on his cover.

Things seemed to go back to normal- until one of the guards entered the tavern and had a hushed discussion with the others.

"The ninja team has left the village," he informed them. "They're gone."

"Good riddance," another spat.

"You know what to do," a third prompted meaningfully.

A meaty hand grasped the chunin's shoulder and Iruka acted as if he'd been startled by the gesture. "Wha...?" He turned his head and smiled meekly at the red haired guard. "Oh, it's you, Taiyo. How can I help you?"

"You're coming with us," Taiyo informed him coldly.

"Why? W-where are you taking me?" Iruka stammered as they steered him away from the bar and through a side exit.

"Hey, what are you doing with Akio?" Naomi protested.

"Don't you worry about it, honey," Hiroshi replied smoothly, falling into step behind his men. "Just serve the customers for now. Akio and I are going to have a little…_talk_."


	3. Interlude

**A/N:** This story has been a bit stalled due to real life and writer's block (see profile if you really want more details).  
So until the third chapter is ready, I thought I'd entertain you with a couple of omake!

Neither are meant to be taken seriously or, for lack of a better term, as "canon" for this fic. This is just the result of me goofing around after a stressful day.

The second omake was inspired by a conversation Reidluver and I had, following her review of chapter two.

* * *

**Omake 1: Strategy Session**

**Setting:** a private meeting room in the Hokage Tower, before the start of Team Genma's infiltration

* * *

Anko scoffed and crossed her arms, interrupting the strategizing session. "This will never work."

"Why not?" Genma pressed, wanting to understand her reasoning. He'd thought through their plan from several angles. If there was a weakness he hadn't noticed…

"Isn't it obvious? Our team formation is all wrong," the kunoichi sighed. "I mean, sure, the two of _us_," Anko indicated herself and Genma with a wave of her hand, "will be able to play our roles- but what about the sensei?"

Iruka balked, "What _about_ me? I can play my role just fine!"

Anko planted her hands on her hips, smiling cruelly. "Let's face it, Iruka. We all know you're far too vanilla to make it in this assignment.

"Hm... You might have a valid point." Genma conceded reluctantly.

The sensei blinked at them uncomprehendingly. "…Vanilla?"

The jounin rolled the senbon in his mouth before elaborating. "She means you're straight-laced… conventional… boring."

"Is that so?" the chunin replied evenly.

Anko expected a defensive outburst or angry retort. Instead Iruka closed the distance between himself and the violet-haired kunoichi before sliding his arms around her waist. "You know, Anko, some people _like _vanilla."

She stared at him wide-eyed as his face lingered closely in front of hers. Skimming his fingertips against her sides, he leaned in, bypassing her lips to nibble at her earlobe, grinning when he felt her shudder. "So… what's _your_ flavor?"

Iruka slowly pulled away. A faint blush dusted his scar, but his mischievous grin remained firmly in place. He held out his hand and presented the dumpling shop coupon he'd swiped from her in the process. "Huh, looks like _I_ get free dango tonight."

Anko growled and raised a fist. "Don't look so smug, you idiot! You didn't seduce me; I was grossed out, that's all." She reached forward, attempting to snatch the paper from his fingers. "Now give that back!"

Iruka laughed, tucking the coupon in his pocket.

Anko narrowed her eyes dangerously. Drawing a kunai blade across her palm, she used her blood to summon three oversized serpents.

The senbon in Genma's mouth twitched nervously. "I really think you should give her the coupon, Iruka."

"No way," the sensei smirked. "I stole it fair and square."

Anko looked at her serpents and uttered two words. "Get him."

* * *

By the end of their strategy session, the coupon was utterly destroyed. However, Iruka had magnanimously agreed to treat his teammate to dango (once the serpent loosened its hold on his neck long enough for him to breathe, of course).

Thus, Anko developed a grudging respect for vanilla, and Iruka learned to never, _ever_, come between a kunoichi and her dango.

* * *

**Omake 2: Kakashi's Dance Moves**

**Setting:** In the mission room, while the Konha ninja are waiting to be debriefed by Tsunade.

* * *

"I still don't see why you're so upset. Those women dragged me into it. And it was just a dance." Kakashi replied bemusedly.

Upon their return to the village, the jounin had expected the rant on how Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke didn't belong in a seedy tavern. He'd expected to be chided for dragging the kids along on his gambling spree. But being railed on for his moves on the dance floor was a bit much.

"Just a dance? JUST a dance?" Iruka fumed, "Have you no sense of decency? All that...that...flapping and wiggling. Such an exhibition is unbecoming to a shinobi..."

"Mah...sensei you need to loosen up."

"And to expose the _children_ to that display!" The sensei continued, heedless of the Copy Nin's protest.

Tsunade entered the mission room and absorbed the scene. Her best field agent and best academy sensei were snapping and growling at each other like dogs. A crowd had gathered to watch- a weary amber-haired tokubetsu jounin among them.

"Genma, what's going on here?"

The tokubetsu jounin sighed. "Well, Kakashi brought his genin to the tavern where my team was working undercover. Iruka-sensei didn't approve of Kakashi's behavior. Thus..." he waved a hand vaguely toward the arguing ninja.

Tsunade listened curiously to their ranting.

By now, Kakashi was getting a little fed up with the chunin's lecture. "Iruka, if you don't drop this, I just might decide to dance right here," he warned, a hint of mischief in his visible eye

"Don't you_ dare_, Kakashi, or so help me..."

The hokage chuckled before turning back to Genma, "Wow...Kakashi must have put on quite a show back in that tavern. Too bad I missed it."

Genma grudgingly nodded in affirmation. "It's not fair; the women were all over him."

"With moves like that, who could resist?" Anko stated breathily, a dreamy, far off look in her eyes.

"Not you too, Anko!" Genma frowned and crossed his arm.

"You're just jealous," the kunoichi huffed, "Because you can't chicken dance like Kakashi!"

* * *

_"Kakashi! Stop that!"_ Iruka shrieked in panic, but the jounin paid no heed as he crinkled his eye in a smile and continued humming and flapping his elbows.

Several kunoichi in the room sighed dreamily.

Yes, no one could do the chicken dance quite like Kakashi.


	4. Chapter 3

The yakuza gangsters dragged Iruka into an alley smelling strongly of urine and alcohol. A hand tightened painfully around his wrist and the chunin suppressed the instinct to fight back or escape. Hiroshi had no proof that he was a ninja. He had no proof there were ninja here at all.

The moment shinobi presence could be proven, they lost all chance of infiltrating the upper ranks in the yakuza hierarchy. If he didn't want to destroy all the progress made on his mission, Iruka had to keep this game going.

The men shoved him backwards, causing his head to hit the brick wall with a dull thud.

"Please, Boss, I didn't do anything, I swear!" Iruka cried out, bringing his arms in front of him protectively. "I-if this is about the money missing from the register…I'm sorry! I didn't think it was such a big deal. I'll pay it back. Double! Please…"

"You know _exactly_ what this is about, ninja," Hiroshi hissed, not taking the bait. He nodded at a guard who proceeded to grab a fistful of Iruka's hair.

"_Ninja_?" Iruka repeated incredulously. "Wait… You think _I'm_ a ninja? You've got to be kidding me."

Hiroshi stared at the bartender with an unreadable expression before turning to his men. "Search him."

* * *

"_We are fighting dreamers…"_ Genma sang, not missing a beat even as his heart sank.

Over his own wailing and bandmate's playing, Genma couldn't hear the tavern owner and his three of his thugs confronting Iruka, but it was safe to say the clipped conversation didn't exude friendliness.

"…_Oli oli oli oh, Just go my way!" _ He cast an eye toward Anko, tracking her progress with her new interrogation.

Unfortunately, Anko's mind wasn't on her target. The kunoichi flirtatiously tossed her hair back- not to lull in her prey, but to angle her head just enough to watch Iruka. When the boss led Iruka out through a side exit, Genma just _knew_ she was trying to invent an excuse to abandon her target and follow after the chunin.

He wouldn't have minded her instinct to protect a teammate, except that Anko couldn't see the strategically located guards, watching and waiting to flush out undercover operatives. From Genma's elevated vantage point on stage, he watched them taking careful note of exits, observing who may be going to aid the captive bartender. If Anko left now, her cover would be all but blown.

He had to get her attention, to stop her somehow.

Well, nothing distracted quite like loud, annoying fangirls.

Genma swayed his hips gratuitously while reaching up to untie his bandana. The giddy shrieks confirmed that he had the ladies' attention as the jounin flung his bandana out into the crowd.

* * *

Anko was approaching the exit when a stampede of women blocked her intended path. In front of her, a gaggle of females fought over a bandana. Genma's bandana.

The kunoichi glared up in annoyance, just in time to see the squad leader briefly flash the Konoha hand sign for _"Stand Down."_

Why would he stop her from following Iruka?

Before she could reflect further, her target- the man she'd ditched just moments ago- approached. "Hey, babe, what's the hurry? Why don't you stay awhile, let me buy you a drink."

Anko inwardly sighed. Back to work it was, then. This newest target _was_ the most promising source of information they'd found thus far. Iruka would just have to wait.

She cast one last glance at the stage before following the target to the bar. Genma had better know what he was doing.

* * *

Iruka found himself pinned to the wall by the red-haired Taiyo while the other two guards rifled through his clothing and pockets. Cash from his tips, an alcohol flask, and the compact bags of drugs he sold were confiscated as they searched for incriminating evidence.

A guard with tattoos sprawled along the length of his muscular arms discovered the deep inside pocket of Iruka's tailored black sports jacket. Pulling out Iruka's hair comb- the one with poison tipped senbon hidden in its hollow spine- Shou tossed it aside disinterestedly.

A scraggly-bearded guard pulled up Iruka's pant leg, uncovering the four-inch blade he'd kept strapped to his calf. "Ha! What do we have _here_?" He announced triumphantly, waving it under the captive's nose.

"It's a knife, genius," Iruka bit back, "Like there's anyone in this side of town who _doesn't_ carry one."

The sarcastic retort earned him a swift blow to the face. As his cheek began swelling, Iruka prayed that none of the make-up covering his scar had come off on the man's hand. It was supposed to be completely smudge-proof and waterproof, but he really wasn't interested in testing its durability.

The tattooed guard withdrew a pen and thin notebook in another jacket pocket. He would have dismissed this as well, but Hiroshi reached out and snatched it from the guard's hand.

"Now, let's see what you've been writing about me." The pen dropped to the ground as Hiroshi flipped the pages of the notebook.

"It's just a memo book for reminders- things I need to buy, appointments I need to keep- stuff like that," Iruka offered. "I swear, Boss, I would never turn on you. You gave me a job when I was down on my luck. If it weren't for you, I'd be out on the streets. I'd never sell you out, to ninja or anyone else!"

This emotional avowal of loyalty did not faze the man. The owner ignored him, carefully scouring through pages and examining the scarce amount of writing it contained.

Iruka wondered if the guards knew enough about chakra to realize that the paper in his notebook could easily be used for bombs tags. For an instant weapon, he need only rip a page from that notebook and inscribe the proper characters with the chakra-conducting-ink pen that was lying ignored at the boss's feet.

But such subtleties were beyond them at the moment. The bearded guard sighed impatiently, grabbing a liquor flask they'd confiscated from Iruka- the one containing truth serum- and throwing his head back for a gulp.

"Don't!" Taiyo hissed, snatching the flask away at the last second. "What if that isn't alcohol?"

"What else would you put in a liquor flask?" The bearded man grumbled.

"If you're a ninja…poison, flesh eating acid…just about anything" the red head retorted. "Be more careful, Giichi."

"Well then, why don't we test it out on Akio here and find out?" Shou suggested with a smug grin.

Drinking truth serum was definitely going to complicate the situation. Impaired judgment, lower inhibitions, increased talkativeness… no, he did not need that.

"This ninja thing isn't funny anymore, guys," Iruka complained, trying to wave down the proffered flask. "It's just saké, and I've had enough today. Really. That's gonna get me completely wasted."

"Afraid of your own medicine?" Taiyo smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Well then, let's make a deal. We _know_ that ninja work in teams. Tell us who your partners are, and we won't make you drink."

"But I'm _not_ a ninja!"

"If that's how you want to play it," The redhead narrowed his eyes. "Go ahead, Giichi."

Prying open his jaw, the bearded guard emptied the contents down Iruka's throat, forcing him to drink. The chunin felt a buzz almost immediately as the drug overwhelmed his system.

The chunin carried a particularly potent brew of truth serum. Only one ounce of it was required to bring out a victim's secrets. Iruka had just swallowed eight.

* * *

It was tearing Genma apart. On one hand, he trusted that Iruka was capable of sticking to his story, however they may try to force a confession. The man had endured torture resistance training with Ibiki himself.

However, was he- as the team captain- willing to allow his comrade to suffer through that process?

Probably.

Genma recognized that Iruka, like any good shinobi, would be willing to put up with a bit of forceful interrogation for the sake of exposing and ultimately eradicating one of the most dangerous gangs in Fire Country.

Then again, Hiroshi could decide to kill the chunin, evidence or no evidence. This was, in fact, a distinct possibility. In the world of ninja and yakuza, there was no such thing as innocent until proven guilty.

Was Genma willing to forfeit Iruka's life for the success of the mission?

Probably not.

But the jounin didn't _know_ for certain if they would resort to killing him. Acting hastily could destroy the mission for naught. It all boiled down to choosing which was the greater risk- blowing the mission unnecessarily, or gambling with his comrade's life?

In the end, he supposed there never really was a choice.

* * *

The lead guitarist frowned at their recently hired singer when his words began slurring too thickly. His eyes widened and he hurried to Genma's side when he started swaying dangerously.

The blond-haired guitarist caught him before he could fall. "Hey, Light-weight," he tsked, "Didn't Akio warn you about too much whiskey?"

Genma offered a nauseated groan in reply.

"Don't even think about barfing all over me!" the blond protested, "Come on, let's get you to the bathroom."

The tokubetsu jounin allowed himself to be dragged to the restroom, where he stumbled into the closest stall and forced himself to retch. He could hear the door shut as his bandmate left him to his misery.

His hands flowed through seals, and a clone appeared at his side.

"Stay here," Genma instructed the clone sternly. "Pretend to be sick. Stall as long as you can."

"I know, already," the clone complained, waving him off. "The guards are chakra-sensitive. If they realize I'm a bunshin, then it's over for the mission _and _Iruka."

"Smart man," Genma smirked, as he began to squeeze himself through the tiny bathroom window. "Keep your distance from the guards. I'll be back as soon as I can."

* * *

"Well, he's still alive," Taiyo noted.

"'Course I'm alive. Told you it's not poison," Iruka countered, his words slurring slightly. He was well under the influence already. Despite his unsteady swaying, the chunin felt strangely confident- indestructible, even- and reckless.

Even knowing he that he was trying to preserve vital secrets while under the influence of a powerful truth serum, he couldn't find it in him to feel worried.

"Yeah, he definitely doesn't look dead," the tattooed guard sighed. "Too bad."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," the chunin slurred "I'm gonna feel like crap in the morning." Somehow, the thought made him giggle to himself. "The kids are going to be hell to deal with while I'm hungover."

"What kids?" Taiyo asked sharply.

"The…kids," Iruka responded slowly, blinking his drug-glazed eyes as a vague, muffled instinct warned him that this fell under the "Not Supposed to Talk About" category. "My kids." He chuckled again, unable to restrain himself from elaborating. "Not baby goats, mind you. When I say 'kids,' I mean children, though that's really not the proper term for them. Isn't it funny how people use such odd expressions without…"

Giichi cursed and slammed him backward into the wall. "Do you think we give a damn?" he menaced, "Who are the other undercover ninja? Tell us now!"

"Ow…" the chunin complained. "That _hurt_, you jackass. You know, if you keep knocking my head around like that, I could get a concussion. "

Holding a knife under his throat, Giichi growled "Trust me, you'll get worse than that if you don't cooperate. Tell us who you're working with!"

"Who I'm working with…? Well, Naomi's pretty good at helping me at the bar…"

The blade touched the skin of his neck. "Who are your partners, ninja? _Answer the question!"_

Iruka frowned disapprovingly. "That is a very personal question. But if you _must _know…I don't have a partner right now. I haven't dated in several months. You see, the last girl I was with, she left me for someone else. I tell my friends I'm over her- hell, I tell _myself _I'm over her_- _but the truth is, I'm not." Tears stung his eyes and he reached up to wipe them away, heedless of the weapon at his throat. "Maybe I'm just a sap, but I keep waiting, hoping she'll come back…and… Kami, this is depressing…can we change the subject?"

"It's no good; he's too drunk," Shou declared in disgust.

"An emotional drunk," Giichi added as Iruka continued to wipe his teary eyes and ramble about lost love.


	5. Chapter 4

Anko watched her drinking partner, calculated how long it would take for this latest victim to sink into a stupor. The teenager tending the bar in Iruka's stead looked up at her before asking, "Is there anything else I can get you?"

The question was more loaded than it appeared. Anko shook her head. "We're fine. Thanks, Naomi."

The fifteen-year-old chewed her lip, betraying the worry she felt for Iruka, who had been dragged away just a short while ago. "Okay. Let me know if there's anything else I can do," she said finally, turning her attention to the next customer.

As much as Anko had scorned Iruka's decision to enlist the tavern owner's daughter to their cause, it had undoubtedly come in handy. The chunin had trained his assistant well enough that Naomi knew to slip truth serum into the man's saké.

Anko's victim was a newly arrived guard, and cocky as hell. Cobalt blue hair, rakish grin, and grey eyes that grew increasingly murky as he took another swig of his drugged beverage.

"So what brings _you_ out here, Blue?" Anko purred, letting her fingers tangle in the guard's hair and not bothering to ask for a name. "I haven't seen you around before. I'd remember a face like that."

Blue puffed his chest out proudly, throwing his head back to finish off his glass before slamming it down on the counter and signaling for more. "I'm scoping the place for ninja. Damn sneaky bastards, those ninja, but they can't hide from _me._ I'm special-trained."

The kunoichi regarded him with an appraising eye, as Naomi topped off his glass with more saké. He _did_ seem better trained than the other guards Hiroshi employed. Physically stronger, with a more developed chakra system. Fortunately, _she_ was an elite ninja. Ibiki would put her on the rack, literally, if she couldn't hide her chakra from arrogant punks like him.

"I'll bet they can't," she flattered him. "I feel safer already, knowing that _you're _here."

"Just for a week," the drugged guard added.

"Huh? …But why? You're gonna quit your job after just a week?"

Blue hesitated, and Anko could tell he was not quite willing to let go of that information just yet. Coyly, she leaned a bit closer to him, trailing her fingers along his chest teasingly. "I want you to stay with me. Can't you stay?"

"I can stay for a week," Blue repeated. He pulled her against him and flashed that jaunty grin of his. "That's more than long enough, don't you think?"

"_Maybe,_" Anko pouted, pretending to think it over. "What happens after that?"

"After that, I've got to go with the Boss."

She pulled away from him. "What…Hiroshi's leaving too? What'll happen to the tavern?"

"I'm not hired by Hiroshi." Blue explained, vexed at her distance and trying to appease her apparent anxiety. "I serve… someone higher up. He'll be here tomorrow to do business, and I'm here to make sure everything is secure before he arrives."

Someone higher up. That sparked Anko's interest. This had to be the Yakuza crime lord they were trying to flush out. Men like Hiroshi were mere underlings, small fish in a big ocean. Konoha was looking to catch the shark.

Blue was their first direct link to the elusive Yakuza lord. She might even be able to uncover his identity if…

Anko felt a spike in chakra coming from the men's restroom.

Had she been less in control of her expressions, Anko would have pinched her face in fury. What the _hell_ was Genma doing? Creating a clone when he should be impersonating a civilian! Clones can't hide their chakra effectively- they're _made_ of chakra.

Anko recognized the muted traces of Genma's aura, but so far the enemy had not picked up on it. While chakra-sensitive, none of the guards were as attuned to its signature as a fully-trained kunoichi. Blue would have stood the best chance of detecting it, had she not gotten him so utterly wasted on alcohol and truth serum already.

There was only so far such luck could be pushed. The moment a guard got close, Genma's cover was blown.

* * *

On the outskirts of the village, three genin crowded around a small pile of timber.

"Okay, Sasuke, try it again," Sakura prompted.

The Uchiha performed the hand seals for a small fire ball jutsu. The flames danced along the pile reluctantly before puttering away in curls of smoke.

"Well, that didn't work," Kakashi observed mildly from his post on a large branch above them.

"How are we supposed to get a fire started when all the wood is still damp?" Sasuke retorted irritably.

Kakashi smirked at them. How would they develop critical thinking skills if he just _told _them the answer? "I believe that's what I asked you three to figure out."

"Can't we figure it out _later_?" Sakura pleaded. As she turned, her sandals squelched in the muck that served as the forest floor. "Like after we get back to Konoha? We're only a couple of hours away, right?"

"No!" Naruto practically shouted, startling his teammates. Since leaving the tavern, the blond had been oddly subdued. He looked up at their jounin leader. "We _can't_ go yet. We're… waiting for Iruka-sensei, aren't we?"

Kakashi leaned back against the thick trunk of the tree, taking his time to answer. "Iruka is supposed be at the Academy in time to teach, so his shift can't last any longer than another two hours. We may as well wait for him." _And remain nearby in case something goes wrong,_ he did not add.

Despite his attempt at a casual answer, the ever-perceptive Sakura picked up on his unease. "Do you…do you think he's all right, sensei?" she asked hesitantly.

Kakashi closed his eyes and shrugged noncommittally. "That fire isn't going to start itself, you know," he reminded.

Sasuke frowned at the pile of soggy wood. "We should go back."

"There's no way we're going back to Konoha now!" Naruto protested fiercely, shaking his fist at Sasuke. "You heard Kakashi-sensei. We're waiting for Iruka!"

"Idiot. I meant go back to the tavern," the dark haired youth snapped, shoving his hands in his pocket.

Kakashi, who'd been lounging in the tree last they checked, abruptly materialized in front of his bickering genin. "Quiet," he ordered tersely, his hand reaching into his weapons pouch.

The genin stilled, tensing up when rustling noises drifted from the foliage in front of them. Their leader, on the other hand, marginally relaxed his grip on the kunai upon hearing the sound.

A figure tore into their clearing, running so quickly that he nearly collided with the jounin before squelching to a stop in the mud. "Kakashi!" He paused, struggling to catch his breath. "I thought…you'd be…farther ahead…" he managed between pants.

"We decided to linger," the Copy Nin replied gravely. "What can I do?"

"Hey, I know you!" Naruto announced, pointing a finger at the chestnut-haired man. "You're that singer from the sleazy tavern. What the heck are _you_ doing out here?"

Genma didn't spare a glance at the boy, instead speaking urgently to Kakashi. "They've got him; and Anko and I can't do a damn thing about it without blowing our cover."

Kakashi raised his brow. "An extraction, then?"

"Not yet," tokubetsu jounin countered. "If we lay low, _and_ the sensei can convince them he's not ninja, we're in the clear to continue our mission. The problem is, I can't watch to make sure they don't kill him. Hell, I shouldn't even be taking the risk of coming out to ask _you_ to do it. Still, Iruka needs some kind of back up, and _I've_ got to get back to my post before I'm caught."

"Then let's move," Kakashi nodded. Turning to his genin, he added, "You three wait here. I'll be back."

"_What?_" Naruto shouted. "No way! I'm coming with you."

"Haven't you done _enough_?" Sasuke scowled at the blond before turning his eyes toward his sensei, "Take _me_ with you. I won't get in the way."

"I want to help too," Sakura chimed in earnestly.

Kakashi sighed. Given enough time, he could force this stubborn lot to stay. But from Genma's assessment of the situation, time certainly wasn't a given here. "Fine. Just stay close to me."

* * *

"Ummm… whattya mean by 'ninja?'" Iruka slurred tentatively, tasting the word in his mouth as though he didn't know what to make of it.

"You damn well know what we mean by ninja!" The bearded Shou cursed while increasing the pressure on Iruka's arm. "Admit it! Admit that you're one of _them._ A self-righteous killer for hire."

Iruka's eyes clamped shut and he gritted his teeth against the pain. His shoulder wrenched from its socket as Shou twisted it viciously behind the chunin's back.

Finally he cried aloud and gasped, "Y-you're right…"

"Hah!" Shou grinned triumphantly.

"I- I _am _a killer," Iruka admitted resignedly. "I remember my very first kill- Sakana. One minute he seemed fine, so full of life, and then the next thing I knew," Iruka sniffled, "He was_ dead_. Just like that. A part of my life was gone and- and it was all my fault." Regret filled the chunin's eyes and his voice cracked with emotion, "I didn't mean to kill him. Poor little goldfish. How was I supposed to know that he'd _die_ if I overfed him? I mean, why couldn't he have saved some flakes for later?"

The gangsters exchanged glances.

"You… killed your goldfish." Taiyo stated flatly, clearly unimpressed.

"Yes!" Iruka confessed brokenly. "He was such a happy fish…I think. It's kinda hard to tell with goldfish. And then there was my turtle. I sort of forgot about him for a few days…or it might have been a week…but, anyway, when I finally remembered to check on him, he was dead too..."

"This is a waste of my time," Hiroshi snapped in disgust. "We're done here."

"No, boss, don't give up yet. I'll _make_ him talk!" Shou affirmed, cracking his knuckles.

"…And then one day I found this baby bird," Iruka continued, unfazed by the interruption. "He couldn't fly or anything, so…"

"Oh, he's talking," Giichi dug his fingers in his temple to stave off a pending headache. "Now would you please make him _shut up?_"

* * *

Anko pushed Blue away from her, tuning out his slurred protest.

She couldn't work like this. Here she was, tantalizingly close to uncovering the identity of the crime lord, and all she could do was worry that some guard will notice the chakra coming from the clone in the men's restroom.

She had to find a way to distract them long enough for the real Genma to return from wherever the hell he ran off. If there were just one or two guards to distract, it would be simple. But how was she supposed to hold _all _of their attention at once?

The kunoichi cast her eyes about, pinpointing the thugs' locations. As usual, she noticed that Hiroshi only hired male guards (_sexist pig_, Anko scoffed internally).

Now that gave her an idea.

Stalking toward the stage, the kunoichi hailed the remaining band members, feigning annoyance. "Hey boys, what happened to the music? It sounds dead in here."

"Oh, Kajin!" The guitarist greeted her familiarly before shaking his head in exasperation. "Our lead singer is puking his guts out in the bathroom."

"We _told_ Jinku not to drink so much whiskey," the drummer complained. "We don't get paid if we don't play. Heck- even if we play, we don't get paid unless people _like_ the performance."

"Is that so?" Anko smirked. "Well…what if I told you that I used to be showgirl? I bet _I _could help you please the crowd."

"Yeah?" they perked at the prospect. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," the kunoichi stated coolly. "You'll just have to split your earnings with me. But hey, that's better than no money at all, right?"

The drummer frowned suspiciously at her. "Exactly how much you want?"

"Half," Anko asserted brazenly.

"_Half!_" the guitarist fumed. "But there's three of us. It's an even three-way split, or nothing at all."

"Oh well," Anko shrugged, starting to saunter away. "I guess you _won't_ get to see me dance. Too bad."

"No, wait!"

The musicians debated amongst themselves before grinning at the kunoichi. "Kajin-baby, you've got yourself a deal!"

"I knew you'd see it may way." Climbing gracefully onto the stage, she grabbed the mike and nodded to the band members. Cat-calls filled the tavern as the men noticed their attractive, new entertainer.

_Genma, you'd better help Iruka and get your ass back out here soon_, Anko fumed internally, her saucy smile never fading. _The things I do for you boys…_

* * *

A/N: I'd planned to go farther in this chapter but ran out of time. I just _had_ to get an update out before my schedule explodes this week. A heartfelt thanks to all the reviewers... you motivate me to happily scrape what time I can to update, in spite of RL. I appreciate all your support (though I know I have yet to respond to every one! I was using my meager spare time to write this chapter, but I do intend to get back to you.)

Next chapter: Things start to go downhill...


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